Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
