If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
