remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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