the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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