This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize