went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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