Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
