it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
