How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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