wanna go halves on a baby?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
