We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
