Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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