so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
