WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
