just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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