Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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