i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it was like eating out sand paper
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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