We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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