I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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