she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
