This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
