I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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