okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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