i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Come see our sink grown plant.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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