I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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