dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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