does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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