So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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