Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
