Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
