Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
