then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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