My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
