fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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