My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
