So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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