On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
