dude i'm inner monologue high
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
