is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
