My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
