help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
