don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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