16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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