Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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