I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
