Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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