Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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