So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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