so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize