No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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