1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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