I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
