So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
