you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
