I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
