After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize