Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
