I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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